Healing Wounds, Fading Scars
by Miss Sunshine15
Summary: This starts, as Rachel is about to move back in with Joey in series nine after she and Ross argue about Gavin and Rachel giving her phone number to the guy in the bar.
1. Chapter 1

**Healing wounds, Fading scars**

**Hey everyone, this is the first proper fic I have written and posted on-line. I posted the first chapter of another story on but never got round to writing anymore but ive written all of this one and over half way through editing it and typing it out.**

**This starts, as Rachel is about to move back in with Joey in series nine after she and Ross argue about Gavin and Rachel giving her phone number to the guy in the bar.**

**Unfortunately they don't belong to me.**

Chapter 1 

Rachel looked at the door of apartment 19 and gave a sad sigh before knocking on it, after a couple of seconds the door opened to reveal Joey, "Hey Rach, what's up?"

"Can me and Emma live with you for a while?" Joey looked shocked and ushered Rachel who was carrying a sleeping Emma into the apartment.

"Of course you can, you know you're always welcome at Joey's!"

"Thanks Joey," replied Rachel quietly. Joey guessed something big must of happened between Ross and Rachel, because last he had heard they were getting on great. The look of disappointment and annoyance on Rachel's face was also a big clue.

"Are you gonna tell me what this is about? I thought you and Ross were getting on really well."

Rachel sighed and sat on the couch before she began to speak.

"Honestly so did I, but we got into a fight and I realised I couldn't live there any longer…" Rachel paused, she knew Joey was expecting more of an explanation but she wasn't sure what to say. "…at my party last night, I kissed Gavin, a guy from work out on the balcony and Ross saw it from our apartment – I, we got into a fight about it and then he started going on about guys from bars calling which really confused me coz I didn't think this guy I'd given my number to had called but it turns out Ross hid the message from me. So I got mad and told him I couldn't live there anymore."

Joey slowly absorbed all of this and the only response he could come up with was "Oh!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Rachel defensively.

"Look Rach, you and Emma are welcome to stay here as long as you want but you have to remember that I'm friends with Ross as well, I don't want to be caught in the middle you know? And I don't want to take sides but why did you kiss Gavin and give your number to a random guy in a bar? I thought that after Emma was born you and Ross were gonna get back together, I mean didn't you both admit to having feelings for one another at the hospital?"

Rachel looked down, "yeah, but me saying yeah to your none proposal came up and nothing happened after that. I just don't know what to think or do anymore, I guess I was just flattered that someone was interested in me even though I was a single mother, I didn't stop to think about consequences."

"Well maybe time apart is exactly what you guys need to think things though and finally decide what you want, but I think what ever decision you come to, be it that you get back together or remain as friends it has to come from you and Ross. This time the rest of us can't get involved, we just seem to complicate things."

Rachel gave Joey a weak smile and hugged him, "thanks Joe, you're the best and we both really appreciate you letting us stay here."

"Ah, I couldn't let you go homeless now could I? Besides that's what friends are for."

Over in his apartment, Ross was feeling frustrated and very angry with himself. He couldn't believe that he had let things get so bad between him and Rachel. In fact he wasn't even sure how they had got like this, Rachel and Emma living in a different apartment. After Emma was born things were meant to improve between the two of them, he had even hoped that they would get back together as he was sure Rachel still had some feelings for him. As always though, things had turned out completely different, he was living alone and wasn't even sure what it was that he felt for Rachel anymore. His feelings for her often varied, he had always loved her although sometimes it was hard to tell if it was just platonic love or true romantic love. There were even times when he had disliked her because he was angry, hurt or jealous although that feeling didn't usually last long. Now, however it was like he didn't or couldn't feel anything for her, as if he was completely numb when it came to her. As he drank his beer and sank back onto he couch, Ross decided that maybe it was a good thing that they were going to be living apart as it would give him time on his own to think things over and figure out how he felt and what he actually wanted. He knew that even after their argument, Rachel would still let him see Emma whenever he wanted and although things between them would be awkward at first, after a week things would be back to 'normal'. Which meant that they would get on with their separate lives, being friends and ignoring whatever feelings they had for the other. Exactly as they had done between their break-up and conceiving Emma.

As Ross predicted, things between Ross and Rachel were awkward for a couple of days but the uneasy silences and conversations soon passed and the following week things seemed to be back to normal. Ross and Rachel both appeared to have pushed the issues to the backs of their minds as they tried to concentrate on raising Emma, who they both so obviously adored, to the best of their abilities. However, the rest of the gang could tell that neither of them were truly at ease with the situation, but none of them said anything to either Ross or Rachel because they all agreed with Joey that this time they to figure it out for themselves. This didn't stop them all from wishing that they would get back together however, because just like strangers in the street they could all see what Ross and Rachel couldn't, that they loved each other and along with Emma they were a perfect family.

Life went on as usual for the gang for the following three months or so. They all continued to hang out at Central Perk or Chandler and Monica's as often as they could, although the amount of time they spent together was slowly beginning to decrease and their conversations had changed somewhat to those they had when they started hanging out together. Both signs that they were no longer a group of single twenty-something's with very little responsibilities. Ross and Rachel now had Emma to raise and jobs they loved, both of which took up a good amount of their time, Monica and Chandler were married and trying to start a family, Phoebe had recently moved in with her fiancé, Mike and Joey was very busy filming Days of Our Lives as well as several guest appearance roles, after being nominated for a couple of awards. He had also started seriously dating Allie, one of his co-stars on DOOL. Rachel had made the decision when she moved out of Ross's apartment that she wasn't going to date anyone until she had figured out her feelings for Ross and what type of relationship she wanted with him as she thought it would just make her decision harder, especially if she meet someone she really liked. Also she figured that it wouldn't really be fair to whomever she was dating if she was thinking about Ross all the time. Ross on the other hand had decided that it wouldn't hurt to date and that somehow it might actually help him figure out what it was he wanted with Rachel. As a result of this he had been out on dates with several women over the past three months, including Megan who he had been on 5 or 6 dates with over the past 3 weeks.

I hoped you like it so far, it gets more interesting as it goes on. Will post next chapter tomorrow probably.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you everyone who reviewed, here's the next part**.

**Unfortunately they don't belong to me**

**Chapter 2**

**This chapter begins just as it is drawing to the end of third month since Rachel moved out and Ross has been dating a woman called Megan for about 3 weeks.**

One Saturday in mid- September, about three months after Rachel moved out of Ross's, the whole gang including Emma, Phoebe's fiancé Mike and Allie, Joey's girlfriend of nearly two months were hanging out at Chandler and Monica's. Phoebe, Mike, Joey and Allie were all watching TV and sneaking quick glances at Ross and Rachel who looked like a happy little family as they sat on the floor playing with Emma who at 10 months old was now crawling and beginning to talk. Chandler and Monica had been whispering in the kitchen but had now joined the others in the lounge area, standing near the TV.

"Hey guys, me and Chandler were just talking about how long its been since we all went out and did something together so what do you say about going out for a meal tonight, all of us?" questioned Monica. There were positive replies from everyone except Rachel.

"Ross we don't have a sitter for Emma and after Phoebe's birthday there is no way I'm leaving her with your mother. One of us will have to stay at home with her."

Before Ross could respond to Rachel, Chandler spoke, "well we thought it would be cool if we went to one of those family restaurants say about sixish so that Emma could join us."

"Sounds good, we can come," replied Rachel.

"Erm…" began Ross, hesitating "is it okay if I bring Megan? I was meant to be going out with her later, plus we've been dating a while and she's dying to meet you all."

"Sure, it'll be good to finally meet her" replied Monica as she eyed Rachel to see if she was bothered by this at all and wasn't surprised to see a slight look of sadness in her eyes even though she was smiling.

"Well I'd better go put Emma down for a nap if she is going to be up fairly late tonight, we don't want her falling asleep in her dinner do we?" and with that Rachel picked up Emma and exited the apartment quickly.

On entering her and Joey's apartment, Rachel placed Emma in her playpen and began pacing around the lounge.

"Arrgh! I don't know how or why he does it Emma but your Daddy has this affect on me that I can't explain! Why am I bothered that he's brining Megan to dinner? Apart from the fact that I'm going to b the only one without a partner. I'm the one who moved out, who kissed a guy… but we weren't even dating so that shouldn't matter right?"

Rachel stopped pacing and turned to the playpen were she found Emma asleep. She crouched down and stroking Emma's head she whispered " Hey cutie, I wish things between your Daddy and I could be different and simple, and we could give you the family you deserve, but you know some things just don't turn out the way you thought they would and you just have to get on with it the best you can, but boy is it hard sometimes."

"I guess you've finally figured out you want Ross after all." Rachel turned around quickly at the sound of Monica's voice to find her stood by the door with Phoebe,

"how long have you to been there?"

"Oh long enough to know that you're in love with Ross and would prefer to living with him than here." Came Phoebe's reply.

"I… I never said I was in love with him…" began Rachel but of the others look she gave up trying to pretend otherwise to her best friends and sighed "…I don't know what I should do you guys, while I've been realising I'm still in love with him, he's off dating! I know I want to be with him, I just don't know if I can ruin another one of his relationships!"

"Look Rach, we want you and Ross to be together just as much as you do but we really can't help you decide what to do, whatever you both decide it has got to be 100 your decision otherwise it won't work," advised Monica.

"Monica's right, you know I believe you two are lobsters, soul mates or whatever, just let destiny take its natural course and I promise that sooner or later it will all fall into place, you've just got to wait for the right moment to come along."

"Thanks, you two are the best friends ever," Rachel said as she hugged them both before pulling away to go see Emma who had started to cry in the background.

"We'll leave you to it, see you at mine about six?" asked Monica as her and Phoebe left, Rachel just nodded as she soothed Emma to show that she had heard her friend.

That evening the gang minus Ross, who went to pick Megan up on his way, met at Monica and Chandler's apartment and went to the restaurant together. Once they had all arrived the Maitre' d showed them to a large round table where after a few awkward moments of deliberation they finally sat in positions they found relatively comfortable in. (Rachel, Emma, Ross, Megan, Joey, Allie, Chandler, Monica, Mike, Phoebe). The gang, including Rachel all thought Megan was a lovely person, yet they found it difficult to accept her into the group like they had done with Mike and Allie as they all hoped that Ross and Rachel would end up together and didn't like to think that she would be around too much longer. During dinner the extended group of friends talked happily about many things past, present and future.

As the main course was served Chandler stood to make a small toast. "Apart from the fact we haven't all been together like this for a while, Monica and I actually have an alteria motive for inviting you all here tonight."

Chandler smiled at Monica who nodded at him to continue. "We wanted to tell you all at the same time that in 7 months there is going to be a little addition to our group in the form of the first little Baby Bing." The gang looked at each other in surprise before congratulating the happy couple. Monica was the first one to speak up about what had surprised the other.

"I know your all thinking that we couldn't conceive but we've been to the hospital and they have confirmed it, I'm two months gone. They've done some tests and it looks like everything is going to be fine, that was why we waited to tell you, we just wanted to be sure."

"We didn't want to get you all excited just in case there where any complications" added Chandler smiling at Monica.

"Wow, I'm so happy for you guys" said Ross.

"Yeah, you finally get the family you have always wanted Mon," commented Phoebe in her usual childlike manner she had when she was excited about something.

After the announcement the main focus of the conversation turned to babies and families with each member of the group retelling stories from their own families and childhoods. Some stories were funny, some were happy and some were sad but each one was considered just as important as the others among this group of friends, who actually considered themselves as a family.

Although she joined in with the conversations, Rachel was uncharacteristically quiet, concentrating on keeping Emma amused and thinking about her own family and situation. It's not she wasn't happy for Monica and Chandler, because she was just as happy for them as they were themselves, it was just that she couldn't help but feel jealous. Monica had everything that she had dreamed of since she was twelve, a marriage, a loving husband and a baby on the way, a family to call her own. At the time and even up until five, six years ago Rachel thought Monica was mad for wanting all of that, she just wanted to have fun and not think about such huge commitments. But now Rachel was sick of just having fun, so much so that it wasn't even fun anymore, now all that Rachel wanted was everything her best friend had.

"Rach… Rachel!" all of a sudden Rachel was aware of Ross trying to get her attention. She turned to look at him; he was playing with Emma who was in a high chair in-between them.

"Yeah?" she asked softly, smiling at the sight of her daughter looking so contented in her Daddy's arms, she couldn't help but wish they could all spend more time together as a family.

"Emma needs changing, do you want me to do it?"

"Erm, no its ok I'll do it" replied Rachel as she took Emma from him.

Ross watched Rachel walk away with Emma out of the corner of his eye as he turned to talk to Megan. He felt a slight pang in his chest every time he watched Rachel and Emma together; he was amazed at how well she had taken to being a parent. Long gone was the young, spoilt, dependent, demanding, baby-fearing Rachel who had come running into Central Perk and their lives in a soaking wet wedding dress just under a decade ago. She was now a mature, independent, giving, doting mom, although she still possessed all of her good qualities from way back when she had gained so many more, which just made everyone (particularly Ross) like and love her even more.

Monica excused herself from the table and followed Rachel into the bathrooms. Rachel looked up from the changing table when she heard someone enter and wasn't that surprised to find Monica there.

"Hey",

"how are you holding up?" asked Monica, "you seemed a little quiet and distracted out there."

Rachel looked down and continued to change Emma, "I'm fine."

"You sure?" asked Monica, not convinced by her friends answer.

"Yeah… no, I don't know" sighed Rachel, and as she picked up a now clean Emma, Monica noticed a tear falling down Rachel's cheek. Monica walked over and hugged Rachel, whose tears began to fall faster now.

"Oh honey, what's up?"

"Nothing really, I'm just being stupid."

"Hey remember who your talking to here, its me the person you've been best friends with since you were seven!" pulling away from Monica, Rachel wiped her tears away.

"Don't get me wrong Mon, I know how much this means to you and Chandler and I am so so happy for you… But it just got me thinking about how backwards my whole life seems to be. I mean you fell in love with someone, got married and how you're pregnant. Your life couldn't be anymore perfect. Me on the other hand, well I fell in love with the most perfect guy ever, broke up with him, then married and divorced him all before having his baby. I mean how mixed up is that!"

Monica slowly absorbed this before responding, "it's not mixed up, and it's just a little unconventional that's all! At least you've got Emma from all of this and she wasn't the result of a one night stand with a stranger and just think how happy she makes you."

Rachel smiled and kissed Emma on the head "I know, I just wish that we could get all our crap together and be a proper family you know?"

"I know sweetie, and I promise it will all work out good in the end you just have to be patient and wait for the right time to come along."

"Thanks Mon, we should probably get back as we have been in here for ages."

As they returned to the table they were greeted by one of Chandlers usual comments, something to do with sending out a search party or something but Rachel wasn't too sure as she was focusing on Ross and Megan who were smiling at each other and talking quietly. Waiting and hoping for the right time was all well and good thought Rachel as she sat back down, but it was hard to believe the time would ever actually arrive as she saw how happy Ross appeared to be.


	3. Chapter 3

**Unfortunately they don't belong to me. **

**Chapter 3**

The following Monday at work Rachel was invited to colleagues birthday party the following Friday night. "Great… another night out that I'll be dateless for" mumbled Rachel to herself as Anna left her office.

"Then why don't you come with me then?"

"What!" exclaimed Rachel as she turned round to face Gavin.

"I said if you're going to be dateless why don't we go to the party together," replied Gavin with a bemused look on his face.

"I'm not too sure that's a good idea after what happened."

"Why not? I'm not suggesting that we get married or anything, its just two colleagues going to another colleagues party together because they can't go with the people they really want to."

Rachel looked at him questioningly, "what's that supposed to mean?" "

Its not meant to mean anything, I just assumed that if you were going dateless that you hadn't sorted things out with Ross."

Rachel looked down, "erm, yeah we kinda argued instead and I ended up moving out."

"Sorry."

"Don't be, its all my fault not yours." Rachel said sadly.

"Well I still feel responsible" admitted Gavin.

"Well you shouldn't, honestly. So anyway why can't you go to the party with who you want to?" enquired Rachel trying to steer the conversation away from the topic of Ross.

"My girlfriend is out of town visiting her sister who has just had a baby and won't be home till next Sunday."

"How long have you been together?"

"Nearly three months now, she's really amazing. Anyway you still haven't answered my question, what do you say about going to the party with me? You look like you could do with a really good night out!"

"Thanks" replied Rachel laughing "you really know how to make a girl feel good about herself when she's feeling down. But I guess it can't hurt, I suppose I can manage to spend one night with you although I'd better warn you know that I might not be good company."

"That's fine, I'll just get you really drunk or if you really bore me I'll dump you in a corner and find some fun people to talk to."

Rachel couldn't help but laugh, "Thanks Gavin, you've helped cheer me up!"

"Good! Now where do you want me to pick you up from or meet you?"

"Is my apartment okay? It's the one opposite the apartment where my party was."

"Sure, I'll pick you up about." Gavin replied as he turned to leave Rachel's office.

The rest of the week seemed to fly by for Rachel, she couldn't believe that it was already Friday night as she rushed around trying to get ready and sort out Emma's things ready for when Ross came to pick her up for the night. Ross arrived about 7:50 to collect Emma and Rachel was surprised that he was alone, as he had mentioned something about asking Megan round for the evening.

"So where is Megan tonight?" Rachel asked as she put her earrings in.

"She's out with some friends, someone's birthday or something."

Rachel was secretly relieved that Megan wasn't going to be at Ross's as she didn't like the thought of her spending time getting to know her daughter as well as dating the man she loved. There were a few moments of silence as Rachel went to get Emma from her room and brought her out to Ross in her stroller.

"So were is it you're going again?" Ross asked curiously

"Anna from works fortieth birthday party… Gavin should be here any second to pick me up actually." Rachel stated before applying her lipstick.

"Gavin is picking you up? As in the Gavin you kissed not so long ago?"

"Yes, and here he is now" replied Rachel smiling as she heard the buzzer go.

As he sat at home with Emma sleep Ross was trying to get figure out why it bothered him so much that Rachel had gone out with Gavin. He was seeing Megan now so didn't understand why Rachel going out with Gavin should matter to him.

"Hey Ems, what do you think about Mommy going out with Gavin?" Ross looked down to find Emma fast asleep. "I cannot believe that you are sleeping when I am talking about something so important, its not like I'm talking about dinosaurs."

Ross picked Emma up and took her into his room where her travel cot was set up for the night. After putting Emma in the cot he sat on hiss bed and picked up the four-way photo frame from his nightstand and studied the pictures in it. The contents of each picture represented the most important people in his life. The first picture was of the whole gang and his parents taken at Monica and chandler's wedding, the second one was a recent school photo of Ben and the third was one of Emma taken at the hospital the day she was born. However it was the fourth picture in the frame that he concentrated on the most. It was of him, Rachel, Ben and Emma taken in Central Park about two weeks before Rachel move out. They had had so many comments that day about what a cute family they were. Ross remembered how he and Rachel had politely smiled and said thank you to all the people who had made comments, neither one of them bothering to put the strangers right. Looking at the picture it was easy to see why people thought that they were a family, they all looked so happy.

But Ross knew. He knew that behind the smiles and the front they put up and had seemingly perfected to those who didn't know them well, they weren't a happy family. Behind those smiles there were so many unresolved issues that were stopping them from being that picture perfect family. As he looked at the picture one last time before setting it back down on the nightstand Ross made a decision that he knew would completely change his life one way or another. He decided that it was time to start resolving those issues with Rachel, otherwise there was no chance that they would ever be able to fully get on with their lives, either together or apart. The first step Ross needed to take was breaking up with Megan. This process didn't need to be complicated ant further than it already was by third parties, especially another innocent one. Ross went back over to Emma's cot and leaned over the side to stroke her head, "well sweetie, this is it. This is the time for Mommy and Daddy to grow up and finally sort out all of their problems."

At the party Rachel found enjoying herself was much easier when she wasn't surrounded by people who knew about her and Ross and felt the need to ask her how she was doing every 2 minutes. She was stood talking to a woman from work whilst Gavin went to get them all drinks when she spotted Megan across the other side of the room. It hadn't occurred to her when Ross said that Megan was going out for someone's birthday that it would be the same birthday that she was celebrating.

"_Great!_" Rachel thought to herself, "_just who I need to see as I'm just beginning to enjoy myself!"_

"Hi Rachel!"

Rachel sighed, she hadn't even had a chance to try and hide from her when she heard Megan calling her name and walking across the room to speak to her.

"I didn't realise you knew Anna." Megan said in a tone way to friendly for Rachel's liking as she finally reached her.

"I work with her a Ralph Lauren" replied Rachel with a false cheerful tone that seemed to go unnoticed by Megan.

"Of course, Ross mentioned you worked there but I completely forgot. So how's little Emma? Ross is looking after her isn't he?"

"Yes he is and she's fine thank you."

"Oh good, she's such a lovely child. I was going to ask Ross to come with me tonight but he had already said he was having Emma for the night. But he insisted that I came without him when I said I'd stay in with him."

Rachel smiled sadly, "yeah well that's the kind, caring boyfriend that Ross is."

"I know, he's wonderful. Anyway I'd better get back to my friends, see you later." "

Bye" replied Rachel quietly as Megan walked away, her mood significantly deflated from five minutes earlier.

"Hey! What is with the long face? And who was that you were talking to? I've not seen her round the office. " Asked Gavin as he handed her a glass of white wine.

"Oh that was Megan, she doesn't work at Ralph Lauren. She's Ross's girlfriend" mumbled Rachel staring at the floor.

"Well I guess that answers both of my questions really… so are you going to tell me what happened between you and Ross?"

"It's a long story, you really don't want to hear it." Sighed Rachel.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to hear it. You're obviously not happy with the way things turned out- you never know talking to an impartial person might give you a new perspective and help you figure out what you want to do."

Rachel studied Gavin for a moment or two before she replied, "Okay, but lets go into the hallway where it's a little quieter."

In the hallway there were a couple of people from the party standing around laughing and talking, but it was definitely more private than inside the apartment. Rachel leaned against the wall and drank some of her wine, not knowing were to begin.

Sensing her hesitancy, Gavin spoke first "So tell me what happened that day after I had been round- when I left I thought you had decided that you were going to talk to Ross and try to sort things out."

Rachel sighed "well that was the plan but… when he got home, I was ready to discuss it with him but before I could say what I wanted to he brought up me and you kissing. Apparently he saw from his apartment. He got really angry about it and started going on about how I should of let him know that it was okay to be seeing people again.

Rachel paused and from Gavin's confused look realised that she would have to explain further. "Towards the end of my pregnancy I stopped Ross dating because I felt jealous that he was giving someone else attention and wanted him to be at my beck and call. Ross being the kind, caring guy that he is agreed to my ridiculous request, but I never mentioned after Emma was born that he could start dating again. I understood why he was pissed by that but then he started going on about how it wasn't the first time I'd left him to look after Emma while I was with a guy and mentioned me giving my number to a guy I'd met in a bar with Phoebe, which completely baffled me because I didn't understand how Ross knew about that. As far as I knew the guy hadn't called me, turns out he had but Ross didn't give the message… I got really mad and told him he had no right to not give me my messages and said that I didn't think us living together was working anymore so I moved out." Rachel finally finished and gazed down at the floor as she waited for Gavin to reply.

"Wow! That's a lot to take in. I still don't get why you left though, you seemed so set on trying to work things out when we talked yet it sounds to me that you gave up so easily. Why? And I don't want to sound like I'm taking Ross's side but if I was him I would have been pissed if you had asked me not to date then went and gave your number to a stranger and kissed someone else and not told me it was okay if I started seeing people again."

"I know, I get that. I… I was angry with Ross for not giving me my message, even thought I had no intentions of calling the guy back. After I'd given it to him I tried to get it back but by the time I realised it was a mistake the guy had left the bar… I guess that by telling him us living together wasn't working anymore I was giving him a chance to let me know how he felt about me- and by letting me and Emma move out that's exactly what he did."

When Rachel finally looked up again she had a silent tear rolling down her left cheek. "I didn't even realize that I loved him until I moved out and even then it took me three and Ross inviting Megan to a big group dinner we were having and my friends over hearing me talking to Emma about it to finally admit it!"

Rachel wiped her tears away as she finished speaking. "But now its too late, he's got Megan and I can't do anything about it."

However Gavin disagreed that it was too late. "If you want my honest opinion I think you should tell Ross exactly what you have just told me. Its obvious that you're not going to be truly happy with anyone but him and from what you have told me I'd say that Ross is in love with you too. I mean you don't get that upset about the things you did if you don't have feelings about the person who did them!"

"Yeah but what about Megan?"

"What about her? They've only been together a few weeks right?" Rachel nodded. "Well then it can't be that serious but if you leave it too long to talk to him then it could be serious and then it might just be too late. Look just think about it okay?"

"Thanks Gavin and I promise I'll think about it."

_I've got the whole of this story written out but I've only got part of the next chapter typed up and after reading Imaginewhatif's review I started to think about what I had written and think I'm going to edit/change it a bit before I post it so it might not be up until the end of the week._


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for all your reviews!**

**Chapter 4**

**Unfortunately they don't belong to me!**

The next morning Ross was sat in his apartment watching Emma play in her pen as he nervously waited the arrival of Megan. He felt bad for breaking up with Megan like this but he knew that it was fairer to her this way in the long run, if he managed to work things out with Rachel then broke up with Megan it would be a lot harder. Ross was interrupted from his thoughts by a knock on the door. Megan greeted him in a cheerful mood

"Hi! How was your night with Emma? I had a great time at the party, Rachel was there which I didn't expect."

Ross was shocked, "Rachel was at the same party as you? Did you talk to her?"

"Yeah turns out she works with Anna at Ralph Lauren. We chatted for a little bit, is she okay? She seemed a little down. Anyway what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"

Ross looked down and took a deep breath before looking up at Megan "There's no nice way to do this, but I don't think we should see each other anymore and you've got to believe me when I say that its not because of you. Its really not, I think you are a great person and under different circumstances maybe something could of come of this. But there are so many issues that I need to sort out with Rachel. You know we've got this huge history and I just think that before I can get in with my life properly I need to resolve things with Rachel once and for all or at least let the wounds heal and the scars fade."

He paused before continuing "I don't know if there is any chances of a future for me and Rachel or not, but if there is even the smallest possibility that there is then I think I owe it to Emma, Rachel and even myself to give it ago. I'm sorry Megan I really am."

As she took everything Ross was telling her Megan couldn't feel anything but grateful to Ross. He was being honest with her and didn't want to lead her on knowing that nothing was likely to come of it.

"Ross surprisingly I do believe you. If I'm honest with myself, after dinner last weekend I never really expected this to turn into anything serious. I saw the way you and Rachel interacted with Emma and it was clear that you belong together as a family. I can only thank you for being honest with me."

Ross couldn't believe how well she had taken it, most women probably would have called him a liar and said he was just making excuse to dump them. "Thank you for being understanding."

"I'm not the kind of person to stand in the way of a family being together and hey you know where I am if things don't work out with Rachel. Not that I'll hold my breath waiting for your call."

Ross smiled "I wouldn't be so sure that you won't be hearing from me, things between me and Rachel never usually turn out so I don't see why they will this time."

"Well from they way she has acted around me the two times we have met I've got a feeling that she feels the same way as you."

Ross sighed, "maybe."

Megan stood up "there's no maybe about it. Look I should get going but Ross don't give up without a fight, when Rachel comes to collect Emma don't let her leave until you have resolved everything."

"If I do that it's likely that she will never leave."

At that Megan laughed a little, "isn't that what you want?"

"I guess." As Ross walked Megan to the door there was a knock.

"I'm guessing that's Rachel. Bye Ross, remember what I said and good luck." With that Megan gave him a kiss on the cheek, opened the door and said hello to Rachel before disappearing down the hallway.

Ross and Rachel stood by the door looking at each other for several moments before Ross invited her in. In order to delay talking to Ross and going through with the promise she had made on her way over of not leaving Ross's apartment until they had at least tried to sort everything out, Rachel walked straight over to the playpen and picked Emma up.

Ross had watched Rachel in a kind of trance as she crossed the apartment to their daughter, in awe not only of her physical beauty but also of her inner beauty and the way she interacted with Emma. Looking at the two of them together it was difficult to believe that for such a long time Rachel practically freaked out whenever babies or children were mentioned, she was such a wonderfully natural mother. Ross was soon brought out of his trance by the sound of Rachel's voice.

"Hey Ems, did you have a good time with daddy or did he bore you with all of his dino stories?"

"Hey! Emma happens to love my dino stories thank you very much"

Rachel highly doubted Ross's claim but in order to avoid an argument about it decided not to react to it but instead enquired about Emma, the one thing she felt safe talking to him about.

"So how was she last night? Did she sleep okay?"

"Yeah she was a perfect little angel as always."

"Are you sure that's Emma you're talking about? I wouldn't call waking we up at 4:30 most mornings being an angel."

"She must like sleeping here I guess, she didn't wake up till 7 this morning."

"Typical! The one night she sleeps through is the night I haven't got her."

Ross was angered by this, "Don't… don't complain Rach. I would love to have the chance to be woken up by Emma at 4:30 every morning."

Thinking of the picture on his nightstand that made them look like a family, Ross thought _'I'd give away everything I own if it would mean that you and Emma were with me everyday and night and we could be a family.' _But didn't dear say it out loud so went with "In fact I'd give away everything I own if it would mean that Emma was with me everyday and night!"

Rachel felt guilty. She knew how much Ross hated not living with Emma and that it was mainly her fault that he didn't get to experience the early wake up calls and the other parts of parenting she sometimes found to be tiresome. Thinking about what it would be like to have Ross waking up at 4:30 in the morning to see to Emma with her strengthened Rachel's resolve to see her promise through because it created an image in her mind of the three of them living together as a family. An image that she so desperately wanted to become a reality.

**Well that's the latest chapter, it's shorter than I had planned for it to be but the next chapter is probably going to a long one but isn't likely to be until next week as I am going to be very busy over the next few days!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed, sorry it took so long for me to update, I promise to try to get the next chapter up much quicker. **

**As usual they don't belong to me, although they are on top of my Christmas list!!!**

**Chapter 5**

**This starts from where we last left them.**

Rachel sighed, "I'm sorry Ross… I know how much you miss having Emma around all the time. I really shouldn't complain, it's just…" Rachel hesitated, unsure if she should continue knowing once the can of worms was opened there would be know way of closing it again without letting them all out.

"… it can be tiring doing it every day on your own."

'_Well its not my choice not to be there to share the early mornings with you' _thought Ross bitterly but not saying it as he didn't want to start arguing with Rachel just yet as he was sure once he brought up the issue of them there would be plenty of raised voices.

"Yeah I suppose it must tire you out a bit… I know how much you like you sleep." He responded with a little smile to lighten the mood.

Rachel smiled back; a little surprised that Ross hadn't mentioned that it was her fault that she had to do it on her own. "Yeah I do!"

There were a few moments of silence as Rachel put Emma back in her playpen and began gathering some of Emma's things together and built up her courage to talk to Ross. _'If I don't do it now I'm gonna lose my nerve. '_

Watching Rachel from the couch Ross was having similar thoughts. _'She's going to leave soon, I really need to say something quick…"_

Finally they both had the courage to say something but ended up speaking over one another.

Rachel smiled again and almost melted Ross's heart. "You go first, I insist."

"I was just going to ask you how the party was last night, Megan said she spoke to you."

"It was okay I guess. Too many people from work there talking about the latest trends, was like being in the office. Not my idea of a party."

"Wow!! Rachel Green not wanting to talk about fashion, are you feeling okay?"

Rachel gave a weak smile. _'If you only knew how I felt!'_

Ross determined to steer the conversation in the direction of them and their feelings broke the silence that had once again fallen upon them. "So how's Gavin? Will you be seeing him again?" he asked with a hint of distaste in his voice, signalling that he didn't like the idea all that much.

Rachel was confused by the tone in Ross's voice. He had Megan so why should he be bothered by who she was or wasn't seeing. Although she was also quite pleased to see that he was a little upset about it.

Deciding not to give Ross any easy time, she chose to challenge him about it. "Why do you care if I see him again?"

"I don't care, I was just trying to be friendly seen as that is what we are, friends!" replied Ross, trying to act as if he was perfectly comfortable asking Rachel about possible boyfriends.

"I see Gavin everyday in work… but no I won't be seeing him again, not in the way you mean anyway. And for your information I only went with him to the party because I had no one else to ask and his girlfriend is out of town visiting her sister." Rachel wanted to make it clear to Ross that there was no possibility of her and Gavin being anything more than colleagues/friends.

Ross was somewhat relieved to hear that Gavin had a girlfriend but still needed to know if Rachel liked him as more than a friend before he even thought of bringing up the topic of him and Rachel.

"So you don't like him then? I mean you have kissed him before now!"

"WHAT?!" Rachel was shocked that Ross had brought that up. "He was the one who kissed me that night not the other way round… I just didn't stop it quickly enough."

"So you didn't want him to kiss you? It didn't feel good at all? You didn't enjoy it?"

"NO!! God Ross, what do you think I am?" Rachel couldn't understand why Ross was acting like such a jerk, if he was trying to upset her he was most definitely succeeding. "I felt flattered that he was interested in me even though I had a child but I certainly didn't want him to kiss me! Do you enjoy it when you kiss Megan?"

Ross sighed, "I suppose I used to but we have broken up so I don't really see why that matters."

The pair were starting to get wound up. Ross was beginning to think it was a huge mistake trying to sort things out with Rachel, and that it would have just been easier to go on pretending that he was fine with the way things were between them.

Rachel was thinking it was stupid to ever believe that it would be possible to talk about their feelings and past without arguing, but also saw this as an opportunity to get some things off her chest and finally let Ross know how she felt.

Taking a deep breath, Rachel began to speak at tears started to form in the corners of her eyes. "It matters Ross, because I never wanted to kiss Gavin and didn't enjoy it when I did because … I wanted it to be you that was kissing me like that on my birthday or any other day for that matter, not someone I couldn't care less about!!" Rachel took another deep breath; she had finally said out loud what she had been feeling for months.

Ross just looked at her stunned, apparently unable to speak so Rachel continued "And it matters Ross because if you enjoyed kissing Megan it means that you don't want me to be the one kissing you!!" Rachel took a deep breath, trying to hold back her tears although she didn't think she could stop them from falling for much longer.

Ross still couldn't find the right words to respond, he had been waiting for months for an opportunity like this- to have Rachel hint that she felt even a tenth of what he did in order for him to share his feelings with her and now that the time had finally come he had absolutely no idea of what to say to her.

After what seemed like an eternity Ross finally re-gained the art of speech, "Rach, I don't know what to say, why didn't you tell me this at the time? It might have helped the situation."

"Because we were arguing about it and then I found out that you hadn't given me the message from that guy at the bar which made me even more angry and I moved out."

Ross was confused, "I don't understand Rachel. Tell me, how long have you felt about this kissing thing? Obviously not for very long if you were giving your number to strange guys in bars not so long ago!"

Rachel was starting to get annoyed again, why couldn't Ross just believe her when she told him how she felt. "That was a mistake!! I immediately regretted doing it and even tried to get it back off him but he had already left the bar. And if you really want to know how long I've felt about the kissing thing, try ever since the first time you kissed me! Is that long enough for you?!" Rachel finally felt the tears fall but didn't do anything to try to stop them as she dropped to the couch feeling emotionally exhausted.

Ross was shocked by Rachel's revelation, "What, how?" was all he was able to say.

Rachel fleetingly looked up at Ross who was stood by the apothecary table watching her on the couch and sighed, the time had finally come to tell Ross what she had been hiding from everyone else and even from herself for the majority of the past six years.

Her voice was quiet as she began to speak. "I've never stopped loving you Ross. I may have come close a couple of times but I don't think I will ever get to the stage where I actually stop!! God knows I've tried but it just never seems to work. Why do you think I haven't been able to have a serious relationship since we broke up? Every time I have tried to move on I've failed. Yeah it starts out okay but there always comes a point were I just can't do it anymore, knowing that you aren't the one I'm going to see when I open my eyes after a kiss. It didn't matter how much I wished for it because you never appeared Ross, so… I don't know, I guess I kind of made my peace with it and decided to get on with my life, pretending that I was over you and was happy with just being your friend. But I've got to the point now where I realise that I'm never going to be okay with that, never mind happy about it because being just friends hurts way too much!!"

Whilst Rachel had been talking Ross had made his way over to the couch and was now sat next to Rachel with his head in his hands as he tried to process everything that he had just heard. He couldn't believe that she had never stopped loving him; she had practically described everything he had been feeling over the past six years or so. However there where some things that didn't seem to add up. "If you've never stopped loving me why did you want the divorce after Vegas? Why didn't you ever try to sort things out between us?"

Rachel sighed, "Although I have never stopped loving you, there have been times when I didn't realise that I was in love you." Her tears had begun to subside but she was still very emotional. "I tried so hard to convince others that I wasn't in love with you anymore that I began to believe it myself, you know. Then I don't know – something would happen between us or you would do something that would make my feelings for you resurface but I always found a way to push them away again." Rachel paused and for the first time since she had entered the apartment she looked directly at Ross who seemed to be hanging on every word Rachel said.

"The thing is the last time way feelings resurfaced, no matter how hard I tried to deny it they just wouldn't go away again and they've been getting stronger ever since. I watch you with Emma and I get this aching in the pit of my stomach, wishing we could be a proper family. I'm tired of wanting what everyone else around me has or is well on the way to getting."

As Rachel finished talking Emma began to whimper from her playpen so Ross lifted her out and began to pace the apartment as he gave her with a bottle left over from the night before. He was curious now and wanted to know more.

"When did your feelings resurface this time? I mean how long have you known that you love me?"

Rachel stood up and walked over to the window where Ross was with Emma and stroked Emma's hair as she started to speak again. "The night this little angel was conceived I began to feel something again but kinda pushed it aside. Well until I found out I was pregnant, just knowing you were the father made it easier to deal with coz I knew you would always be there. Then there was time you cheered me up after my crappy date with Joey's co-star. I never told you but I actually changed my mind about joining you for coffee and followed you into Central Perk but you were with Mona… so I left and once again tried to push my feelings aside."

She stopped for a moment as she watched Ross burp Emma. "However, the night of your parents anniversary party my feelings came back tenfold. I listened to you describe how you had 'proposed' and I couldn't help but wish that it had actually happened. After that there was nothing I could do to make them go away again, but I think that's because this time I didn't want them to go away."

Rachel breathed a sigh of relief at finally telling Ross the honest truth about the way she felt, something she hadn't done in a very long time. Although it felt good to have done it, she was starting to get anxious about Ross's reaction as she waited for his response, hoping that he would reciprocate her feelings and tell her that he loved her also.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey!! Well after almost a year I have finally got around to updating my fic! Im sorry it has taken me a ridiculously long time to do but I actually misplaced the folder containing the original handwritten story and I didn't have anytime to write the rest of the story from scratch as just after I posted chapter 5 I got an extremely demanding full time job!! However when I was searching boxes in the loft for something else I found the folder with the finished paper copy of the fic so I decided that I had no reason not to update it anymore as all ive got to do is type up something that is already written!! So here is the next chapter, its only short but I wanted to stop somewhere that left people guessing!! **

**There should only be 2 more chapters after this so I will hopefully have the whole fic up by Sunday!!**

**As always they don't belong to me!!!**

**Chapter 6**

Ross continued to hold Emma and stare at Rachel, knowing she was waiting for him to respond, to say something, anything that showed her that he felt the same way and although he wanted to he just couldn't … not yet anyway. Before he did that he needed the answer to one more question, a question that he had wanted to know the answer to since Emma's birth.

"If you knew you were in love with me when Emma was born, why did you accept what you thought was a proposal from Joey."

Rachel looked down, in both shame and disappointment. Ashamed about what had occurred with Joey on the day of Emma's birth and disappointed that Ross hadn't had said that he was in love with her too.

"Honestly? I was scared that you were going to abandon Emma and I. I talked to Janice and she had said that eventually you would have a new, proper family with a wife and kids and that I'd be left to raise Emma on my own while you where playing happy families and that petrified me, especially after you had said we should forget about the kisses. I know I'll never be able to change the fact that I said yes to Joey's proposal but you have to believe me when I say that I never really wanted to marry him. I guess… I guess I saw it as a way of having a family for Emma."

Ross couldn't believe that Rachel had even thought that he would ever abandon her and Emma, he loved them way too much to ever to that.

"Rach I'd… I'd never leave you and Emma on your own… ever! I said that we shouldn't let the kisses happen again because I was scared that if I told you I wanted to start things up again you would think I was only doing it because of Emma and you would reject me. Then I talked to Phoebe and she made me realise that it would be worth taking the chance to find out, so I was going to come and talk to you about giving us another go. I hadn't planned on even telling you about the ring my mother had given me."

Ross paused to take a deep breathe and steal a quick glance at Rachel who was looking at him intently, anticipating what he was going to say next.

"When I saw that it was that ring that Joey had accidentally proposed to you with it crushed me, I had wanted it to be a surprise when I did eventually propose. And the fact that you said yes to Joey just, it broke my heart."

Now the time had come for Rachel to not believe what she was hearing. Ross had been in love with her too, all this time they could have been together, the three of them as a family if one of them had been brave enough to bare their delicate heart and soul to the other.

"Why didn't you tell me any of this at the hospital or when we got home? We could of worked it out. And why did you let me and Emma move out without a fight?! You just let us go!"

"I didn't tell you because I was angry and upset, as I said it broke my heart. The thought of you marrying Joey nearly killed me! And as for letting you go without a fight, I didn't think it would be worth the effort. I figured that if you had kissed Gavin and given your number to someone then you didn't want anything more than friendship from me."

Rachel had to laugh at the situation, they were both as bad as each other. Ross however, couldn't see what was funny about it. "Why are you laughing? This is serious!"

Rachel stopped. "Because if I don't laugh I'll cry. We are grown adults and yet we're acting worse than a couple of teenagers, hiding our feelings from each other and pretending that we only want to friends."

When Rachel put it like that Ross could see how it was amusing. "I guess it is a little pathetic but its what happens when you have two people who are equally stubborn, proud and scared as each other. So … what do we do now?"

Quietly Rachel took a now sleeping Emma from Ross and gave her a cuddle before placing her in her playpen and turning to face Ross once again and talking in a soft voice. "Well I think somewhere in the middle of bearing our souls we both admitted that we were in love with one another, so…"

"So..."

"So… do you think that it could be possible to start dating again?" Rachel bit her bottom lip in anticipation as she waited nervously for Ross's reply. Despite all that had been said in the past hour or so she was scared that Ross was going to say that it was too late for them, that the ship had sailed once and for all.

Ross desperately wanted to say yes in answer to Rachel's question but at that particular moment he couldn't. There was still one very important subject that needed to be discussed, one that would be upsetting for both and had the potential to be either the making or the breaking of Ross and Rachel as a couple.


	7. Chapter 7

**They don't belong to me: (**

**Chapter 7**

Ross slowly took Rachel's hand and guided her to sit next to him on the couch. "Rach, I'd love to say yes but first I need to ask you something."

Rachel looked at him nervously. "Sure, go for it" she offeredquietly.

Ross took a breath, "If we are going to do this, I need to know if your going to use the whole 'Chloe-break' incident against me everytime we have an argument, because if you are then I don't think it will work. I've told you so many times that I'm sorry and I've lived with the guilt for six years but for us to move forward as a couple it all has to end now because its not a solid basis for a relationship."

Rachel smiled, pleased that Ross had brought the subject up because it meant that she could tell him how she felt about it all now. "Ross what you did broke my heart and it hurt like hell but… it was six years ago. It took me a long time to get to get to the point I'm at now but I can promise you that there is no chance of me using it against you because it doesn't matter. I don't care about it anymore, I don't blame you for our break up like I used to. I realised a long time ago that we both hold equal blame for it. I had seriously been neglecting our relationship, always expecting you to be there, putting the effort in for both of us." She paused to catch her breath before delivering a sentence no-one thought she ever would. "If I'm honest with myself we weren't technically in a relationship when it happened. I guess you could say that we were on a break."

Ross grinned at Rachel. "Wow! I never thought I would hear you say those words. But if that's how you feel then I guess my answer to your question could only ever be yes!" With that, Ross leaned towards Rachel and they shared a long, passionate yet tender kiss. When they pulled apart both were smiling from ear to ear. "After all this time I can't believe that you are finally there" Rachel whispered as she opened her eyes. "I've waited so long for it to happen it feels like a dream."

"Well I can promise you its real and that it's never going to stop happening." Stated Ross in an equally gentle whisper.

"I love you Ross."

"I love you too. Now lets start making up for all those times I wasn't there when you opened your eyes."

"Sounds good to me" Rachel responded as she leaned in for another kiss. The couple were just settling into it when they were interrupted by Emma's cries.

"Typical!" exclaimed Rachel.

Ross laughed. "I hope her timing isn't always this bad" he said as he made his way over to Emma in the playpen. "Why don't you make your self at home while I sort our beautiful little girl out with a clean diaper?"

"Okay." replied Rachel, unable to wipe the huge smile off her face as she watched Ross leave the room with Emma.

Rachel was just getting herself comfortable when the phone rang, "Hello."

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING KISSING MY BROTHER?" Monica screeched down the other end of the phone line.

"Hi Monica, How are you?"

"Rachel Karen Green answer me right now! Why were you and Ross kissing?"

"Because that's what people who are in love do! Look Mon, I promise we will come over later and explain everything. Bye!" With that Rachel hung up the phone before Monica had the chance to reply and went to the kitchen, coming out with a bottle of wine and two glasses, after all an event like this deserved to be celebrated properly.

Rachel was just pouring the wine as Ross came back into the lounge, "Emma is now clean, happy and asleep in her cot." Ross informed Rachel as he took a seat next to her on the couch.

"Good, I hope you don't mind but I got us some wine from the kitchen, I thought we could celebrate."

"That's fine. Who was on the phone?"

"Oh that was Monica demanding to know why we were kissing so I told her that it's what people in love do."

"What did she say to that?" asked an amused Ross.

"Nothing, I hung up the phone before she could answer. It's what she deserves for spying on us!!"

Ross laughed, "I'm surprised that she didn't phone back immediately."

"She probably did but I unplugged the phone, I didn't want her bugging us! We've got so much to make up for, all those years we could have been together but weren't."

Ross looked uncomfortable as Rachel said this and cuddled up closer to him on the couch. Not wanting to jeopardise anything, he began to speak rather cautiously. "I kind of think that it's a good thing that we weren't together for the past six years."

"WHAT?!" shouted Rachel as she began to stand up before being stopped by Ross.

"Rach just let me explain what I mean. As much as I have loved and missed having you as my girlfriend I kind of think its good that we broke up when we did." Rachel just stared at Ross in disbelief so he sighed before continuing. "Neither of us was ready for a relationship as serious and as intense as ours was becoming. You were still trying to find yourself and develop your independence and you wanted and needed to concentrate on your career. I'm not saying that you didn't love me or weren't committed to me but I wasn't the most important thing in you life at that time. And as for me I was too insecure, jealous, possessive and untrusting because of what had happened with Carol. I was so scared that you would leave me that I could understand that you needed to have your own life. I just think that if we had stayed together we would have ended up breaking up eventually but I think it would have been really hard for us to remain friends afterwards because we would have resented each other in the end for not being the person we expected or needed them to be at that time… But the time we have spent apart have given us a chance to grow up. You have gotten yourself an amazing career that you love, are totally independent and are ready to let someone love you completely and do the same in return without expecting too much from them. And I've learnt to trust people again and understand that you have to be allowed to be your own person. Yeah we have been through a lot of heartaches and our love and friendship has been tested many times but look at us. Six years later we are here, in love and ready and willing to give it another go. I think that just proves more about us and our love for one another. We aren't just being together out of habit, which is what we probably would have become if we hadn't broken up, routine and safe."

When Ross finally stopped and braved looking at Rachel to gauge her reaction to his speech he noticed a tear rolling down her left cheek, which she quickly brushed away. "I guess when you put it like that it does make a lot of sense. I'd only ever thought of it as us not being together, missing out on things and drifting further away from each other when its actually our time apart that has finally brought us back together again."

"Exactly, it has made us stronger."

"Do you think it has made us strong enough that we will stay together forever?"

Ross looked Rachel directly in the eye when he spoke this time. "Honestly I don't know. Forever, is a very long time and nothing is ever guaranteed to last that long. But what I do know is that we will die trying to make it last forever. We have so much more to fight for this time with Emma and I think just knowing what it feels like to be apart is enough to keep us together. Plus like I said the issues from before won't be a problem anymore, your happy and successful in your job and I wont be possessive and jealous like I used to be."

Rachel smiled, "I kind of hope you still will get jealous." At Ross's look of astonishment Rachel continued, "It used to like it when you got a little jealous and would be upset if you didn't. It's a natural emotion and shows how much you love me, it's cute as long as you don't become overly jealous and start getting possessive!"

"So do you ever get jealous when you see me with other women?"

Rachel was laughing now, "of course I do, don't you remember that time you went on the play date with a stripper? Not to mention Julie, Bonnie, Emily?!"

After Rachel had told Ross about all of the women she had been jealous of when he had been with them they spent the rest of the day catching up on the past six years. Sure they had seen each other practically everyday during that time but there were still a lot of things they had missed out on and hidden from each other. They discussed all of the dates and relationships they'd had or hadn't had in some cases. Both were able to share their thoughts and feelings about the 'Emily incident', the Vegas fiasco, the conception and birth of Emma and every little thing that had happened in between all of the big events that had shaped their lives in the years they spent apart. As they were talking both were completely surprised to find that despite some of the topics they had covered they were indifferent and calm about it. It was as if all the hurt, anger and sadness that had existed in and between them the past couple of years had just disappeared from them both, none of it seemed to matter anymore. They were finally back together and knew that no matter what happened in the future they were strong enough to fight to keep it that way.

**I know Ross's big speech in the middle was kinda long but I felt that he had to fully explain to Rachel why he thought what he did otherwise she would have just got defensive and argumentative about it! **

**Anyway the next and final chapter should be up tomorrow.**


	8. Chapter 8

I don't own them!!

**Chapter 8**

Ross and Rachel finally made it over to Monica and Chandler's around six o'clock and were immediately ambushed by screams and shouts from the other four as soon as they entered the apartment. "Wow, slow down!! And please one at a time otherwise you won't get any answers" Rachel shouted over them as she placed Emma on the floor to play with some toys. She then went and sat on Ross's knee who had settled himself into the chair, whilst Monica, Chandler and Phoebe sat on the couch and Joey placed himself on the floor by Emma. The four friends stared at the reunited couple waiting for answers.

Ross was the first to speak, "Well I guess what you really want to know is that we **are** back together."

This was met with various cheers of congratulations and 'at lasts'. Ross and Rachel laughed at their friends' reactions but were pleased that they all seemed to be as happy as they were themselves. The support of their was important to them and it would have made it harder to develop their relationship without it.

"I take it your happy for us then." Rachel said smiling.

"Happy? Rach we are absolutely ecstatic about it!" replied Monica. "We've been waiting for it to happen just as long as you have."

"Thanks, we really appreciate it. Having your support will make it much easier for us." Ross told the others.

"Don't get the wrong impression when I ask this but, do you really think you'll last this time? I mean what about the whole "we were on a break" argument?" Phoebe asked cautiously, not wanting Ross and Rachel think she didn't think it was brilliant that they were back together.

"Pheebs everything is fine, we spent the whole afternoon talking about everything from the past that could possibly cause any problems and we have realised that none if it matters anymore, its all were it belongs, in the past with all the hurt and anger." Replied Rachel sincerely.

Ross continued, "We've realised that the time we have spent apart has changed us as people but it hasn't changed how we feel for each other, which just proves how right this is. If we have managed to get through the past years apart we can get through anything now that we are together."

Later on that evening the girls were in the kitchen talking while the boys were out on the balcony. Ross and Rachel kept stealing glances at each other and had permanent smiles on their faces. "So do you really mean what you said about the past not mattering anymore?" Monica asked as she handed Rachel a glass of wine.

"Yeah I do, when we talked about everything it was amazing how calm and indifferent about it all. We even managed to laugh about a lot of it! None of it hurts the way it used to and it's the future, our future together with Emma that matters now. As Phoebe once said how can you be mad about something that's in the past?"

"At last!" exclaimed Phoebe, "people are finally taking what I say seriously."

"We really mean what we said before you know, about us being happy for you. We have watched you over the past six years and although you you've been happy on the outside we know you haven't been completely happy on the inside since you broke up. The only time we've seen you come close to how happy you used to be until today was when you found out you were pregnant and when you gave birth."

At Monica's comment Rachel began to get emotional. "You know me so well! When I realised I was pregnant with Ross's child I was happy because I knew that even if nothing ever happened between us again I would always have a part of him in my child." She paused for a moment wiping a tear from her eye, and then continued, "I just want to thank you two for always being there for me. You are more like sisters to me than best friends and I don't know what I would do without either of you." With that Monica and Phoebe pulled Rachel in for a group hug.

Out on the balcony Ross was watching the girls with a smile plastered on his face. "Hey Ross! Are you listening to us or not?" asked Chandler in an amused tone.

"What?" replied Ross, turning to look at his two best friends.

"You haven't stopped smiling and staring at Rachel since we came out here." Joey informed him.

"I can't help it, I'm just really happy. I know this time its going to last."

"We're really glad that you've sorted things out, but do you really think that everything that has happened won't cause problems?" Joey asked.

"Yeah I do, as Rach said we talked it through and everything just seemed insignificant compared to how we feel for each other. And we've got more reason to fight for it to work this time."

"You mean Emma?" Chandler guessed.

"Yeah, of course we don't want to hurt her but also, we know what its like to be apart and both of us will do anything to prevent us having to go through that hurt and pain again."

"I think all of us would do anything to stop you both going through all of that again!" quipped Chandler.

"And Ross I just want to say I'm sorry for any problems my crush on Rachel and almost proposal caused for you. My feelings weren't anything more than lust. They were nothing compared to how I feel for Allie or how you feel for Rachel."

"Thanks Joey. I wouldn't of blamed you if you had fallen in love with her, I know how easy it is."

The guys stayed out on the balcony for a while talking about nothing in particular, until Rachel went out to tell them that the pizzas had arrived. Joey and Chandler went straight in but Ross pulled Rachel over to him and gave her a short, sweet kiss. "Chandler has volunteered himself and Monica to babysit Emma tonight. He says its practice for when baby Bing comes but I reckon he thought we wouldn't want our first night back together interrupted by Emma wanting to be fed."

Rachel giggled, "well if its to give him practice for when Mon has the baby who are we to deny him it?"

"That's what I thought so I said it would be fine for her to stay." With that they embraced in another kiss, although this time it was a lot longer and more passionate.

Inside the others watched the couple as they ate their pizza. "It feels like we've gone back seven years watching them on the balcony" stated Phoebe.

"Yeah but it feels right though, don't you think?" asked Joey and was met with a series of agreements from the others as Ross and Rachel came back into the apartment holding hands to join them.

**Well that's the last chapter. I'm not 100 happy with it but I hope you enjoyed it. ******


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